Potentially panic-inducing? More than likely.
When you commit to making changes in your life, that’s a huge deal. Take a breath and repeat that to yourself. You’re choosing to shift away from what feels normal, even knowing there will be discomfort and challenge. Yeah you!!
At its core, truthfulness is the act of being honest. It’s telling the truth to yourself and to others, as well as being realistic when it comes to assessing situations. Honesty is crucial to meeting your goals. Whatever success looks like to you, it’s imperative that you be truthful in assessing where you are now, what’s going right, what no longer works for you, and – you might want to sit down for this one – your role in all of it.
Who me? 100%! We make choices all day every day. We choose to be all sorts of things to all sorts of people. We are impressive and kind and resourceful. We also overcommit and rely on being busy to help define our self-worth.
Finding a steady place of balanced productivity requires thoughtfulness. So, grab a journal, talk to your dog, or find a quiet spot…you do you…and sit with these questions for a few minutes.
- What are your goals? (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, professional, relational, etc.) These are not what other people want for you, but what you truly want for yourself.
- What’s in the way? (skills gap, money, discipline, location, support system, etc.) Some might be fully within your power to overcome, some might not, and others may require assistance to navigate.
- What can you do now? Write down a few things that you can learn, change, stop doing, start doing, etc. to move toward your goals?
Once you’re clear on where you want to go and what needs to change in order to get there, it’s time to make peace with trust. Trust begins with you so acknowledge that you’ve dug deep to find this path and carefully mapped out the goals and changes you’ve chosen for yourself.
Trust others to believe in you, too. In The Thin Book of Trust, Charles Feltman defines trust as “…choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.” Dare to be open about the changes you’re making and be thoughtful and practical about how those changes may affect others. Leave space for the fact that they are new, exciting, and possibly awkward for the people in your world. Trust in their ability to inquire, adapt, and support.
This is how boundaries are born. Boundaries are the edges of trust. They flow and change with time, always evolving as we experience the people and world around us.
When we start to define what truly matters in our lives, we have the opportunity to step into clarity and focus. We understand in our hearts what we will and will not embrace, from ourselves and from others. And, we start moving along a path with clear guardrails that help keep us safe, on track, and aligned with our goals.